Are You Avoiding Divorce Because Your Family “Stays Together?”
Staying together for the sake of the kids is a noble idea. Divorce is never a pleasant situation, and your kids will have to deal with the dissolution of your marriage in spite of your best efforts to shield them from it. Depending on the circumstances, it may indeed be a good idea to remain married. Unfortunately, if the relationship can’t be healed, then staying together for the kids could end up doing more harm than good.
Your Children Know More Than You Realize
If your marriage is suffering, then your children probably already sense there’s something wrong. Many parents underestimate how much their children notice. They pick up on changes in your behavior and emotions better than you expect.
When this issue isn’t addressed properly, children are being taught that it’s OK to not communicate problems between family members, and are more likely to blame themselves. They may not understand, as children, that the problems that you and your spouse face have nothing to do with them.
Communicating the issues that you and your spouse face will help your children deal with negative emotions. Speaking with your children as a couple, without blaming each other, you may realize that saving the marriage makes sense. On the other hand, this discussion may instead help you realize that getting a divorce is best for the entire family.
It’s How You Deal With The Divorce That Really Matters
Considering how often divorce takes place, there’s a good chance your children are already aware of it as a concept. As such, if you believe that divorce is necessary in your situation, the way you behave will have a great impact on how much your children suffer during the process.
Both spouses need to work together with the children to keep communication lines open while avoiding arguing in front of the kids. It’s also crucial to not speak badly of the other parent when your spouse isn’t around. Being civil reduces the negative impact your children will experience.
In fact, one of the more controversial studies about divorce states that “82% of those aged 14 to 22 who have endured family breakups would prefer their parents to part if they are unhappy.” Part of the controversy surrounding the study revolves around the fact that the research was performed by a family law organization. However, despite the source of the research, an overwhelming majority of respondents believed it better if their parents separate rather than stay in an unhappy marriage.
Family Law Experts Help You Through Difficult Times
Getting divorced is often one of the most difficult things for anyone, parent or child, to deal with. Obtaining legal expertise allows you to focus more on your children and less on the legal case before you.
Fine & Associates is a well-respected Toronto Law Firm that prides itself on providing quality personal service and favourable outcomes in Family Law and Divorce Law.
You can click here to contact us, fill out the form on the right for a free private phone consultation, or call us at the phone number at the top of the page.