In Ontario, Can You Date Someone New, While Separated?

For many couples, separation only marks the “beginning of the end” of their marriage.  The divorce itself may still be months (or sometimes years) away.  

But many people are emotionally ready to move on much sooner.  This in turn raises a common question: Is it okay to start dating before the divorce is final? 

In Ontario, the short answer is generally: Yes.  

There is no rule requiring separated spouses to remain single until they are legally divorced. 

But “Can I?” and “Should I?” are not always the same question. A new relationship can sometimes complicate an already difficult separation, particularly where parenting, support or negotiations between the spouses still remain unresolved. 

You Do Not Have to Wait for a Divorce 

Under Canada’s Divorce Act, a divorce may be granted once spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year. Importantly, spouses do not have to wait until the end of that year to consider themselves “separated” for legal and personal reasons. In law, separation generally begins when a former couple starts living separate and apart, and where at least one spouse intends to end the marital relationship. 

This means that a person who is separated can begin a new relationship before their divorce is granted. 

There is one important qualification: Until the divorce becomes final, the spouses remain legally married. A separated person can date, but cannot marry someone else until the existing marriage has legally ended. 

What About Adultery? 

It’s true, that adultery remains one of the grounds upon which a divorce can be obtained under section 8 of the Divorce Act. But in practice, this is hard and messy to establish, so most Canadian divorces proceed on one of the other legislated grounds:  That the spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year.  The grounds for a Canadian divorce law is largely based on a “no fault” approach, with the focus being on the financial consequences of marriage breakdown. 

Either way, dating after a genuine separation does not constitute “adultery” for these purposes, and does not generally impact the outcome of the Family Law case.  For example, Ontario’s property equalization regime (under the Family Law Act) is concerned primarily with the spouses’ property and finances, rather than punishing one spouse for starting a new relationship. 

Could Dating Affect Parenting Arrangements? 

The short answer:  Sometimes.  

First of all, simply having a new romantic partner post-separation does not make someone a less suitable parent. 

When Ontario courts decide parenting issues, the governing consideration is always the best interests of the child. Under Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act, a person’s past conduct is not considered unless it is relevant to the exercise of parenting responsibilities. 

The circumstances surrounding a new relationship can nevertheless become relevant. 

For example, problems may arise if: 

• A new partner poses a safety concern,  

• Children are repeatedly exposed to parental conflict surrounding the relationship, or  

• A parent introduces a succession of partners into a child’s life in a manner that affects the child’s stability. 

There can also be a practical difference between beginning to date on the one hand, and immediately involving a new partner in children’s lives, on the other. Particularly during a difficult separation, parents may want to consider the children’s ages, their adjustment to the separation, and the potential impact of introducing a new partner too quickly. 

Could a New Relationship Affect Spousal Support? 

Potentially – but not simply because someone has started dating. 

A recipient spouse does not automatically lose spousal support because they have a new romantic partner. However, if a new relationship develops into cohabitation or a financially interdependent relationship, that may become relevant to the recipient’s financial needs, and therefore to spousal support. 

Similarly, a support payor cannot ordinarily reduce or stop support simply because a former spouse has started seeing someone else. An existing support order or agreement continues to govern unless it is properly changed. 

In other words, the financial consequences of a new relationship are highly fact-specific. 

Think About the Strategic and Emotional Consequences 

Even where dating has little legal significance, it can have considerable practical significance. 

A new relationship can give rise to financial considerations. Moving in with a new partner, combining finances, paying a new partner’s expenses, or making substantial purchases can complicate financial disclosure and potentially create additional issues in support or property negotiations. 

There can be emotional impacts, too:  A new relationship can also inflame tensions between former spouses – especially where only one of them wanted the marriage to end, but the other did not.  

Jealousy or anger over the other person’s new relationship can also make settlement negotiations more difficult, or create new disagreements concerning the children. Social media can make matters worse. Photographs, posts and comments about a new relationship may become ammunition in an already contentious separation, even when they have little actual legal relevance. 

None of this means that a separated spouse must put their personal life on hold. It does mean that some discretion can be useful while the legal and financial consequences of separation are still being resolved. 

Dating Can Help You Move On  

The bottom line is this:  It is entirely possible to begin a new relationship while separated in Ontario. You don’t need to wait for a divorce judgment before dating again.  In fact, it may even help you move on from your old relationship more quickly, and establish a new and happy post-divorce life even sooner.