Summer is Coming! How to Prepare for a Stress-Free Season with Your Kids

Here in Ontario, summer is just around the corner. For kids, it’s the time of year for endless sunny days, carefree fun, freedom from routines, and plenty of time with friends.

But if you are a parent who is separated or divorced, then the summer months can feel like a challenge.

That’s because the season is full of temporary change: School routines disappear.  Schedules open up.  Vacations, cottage time, and visits to extended family might be planned.  If you have a shared parenting arrangements with your child’s other parent, then these transitions can create plenty of friction between you.

Here are some tips that might help:

Lay the Groundwork Early

The key to handling summer custody schedules without conflict is to plan early, communicate clearly, and stay focused on your child’s best interests:

• Start planning long before summer’s here: Ideally, summer vacation discussions should begin in the spring, or even earlier if you are planning any travel. If you and your Ex already have a parenting agreement or court order, review it carefully. Many agreements will already include specific provisions about summer parenting time, such as deadlines for providing notice of vacation dates or rules about how many consecutive weeks each parent may take. Following those terms is the first step in avoiding disputes.
• If your agreement is silent or vague, try to establish a predictable framework. For example, you might agree to alternate prime vacation weeks each year, or agree that each of you can take a set number of uninterrupted weeks. Create a consistent structure, because this reduces the likelihood of last-minute disagreements.
• Be clear and specific when communicating your plans. If you are proposing vacation time with your child, provide your Ex with the exact dates, activity/travel details, and any relevant logistics. This helps build trust and minimizes uncertainty. It also gives your Ex a fair opportunity to raise concerns early, rather than reacting at the last minute.
• Get your documents in order. If you are planning to travel outside Canada with your child this summer, it is important to address travel documents early. Make sure your child’s passport is valid well in advance, particularly if the other parent’s consent is required for renewal.
• Consider a Letter of Permission to Travel. You may also want to have your Ex sign a Consent Letter of Permission to Travel in advance, and take it with you.  This demonstrates that your Ex is aware and has specifically given consent to allow your child to travel out of the country with you. While not always legally required, border officials – including the Canada Border Services Agency – may request it, and having it in hand can help avoid delays or complications at the border. The Government of Canada website has information and a sample precedent here.
• Flexibility also matters. Even with careful planning, conflicts can arise – perhaps both of you want the same long weekend, or a special event in your family event overlaps with your Ex’s scheduled parenting time. Where possible, approach these situations with a willingness to compromise. Offering alternative dates or trading time can go a long way toward maintaining a cooperative relationship between you and your Ex.
• Keep the focus on your child. Courts in Ontario consistently emphasize that parenting decisions must be guided by the child’s best interests. That principle applies just as much outside the courtroom. Ask yourself whether your proposed schedule allows your child to enjoy meaningful time with both parents, maintain important relationships, and participate in summer activities. When both of you approach scheduling with that mindset, disputes tend to become easier to resolve.
• Avoid putting your child in the middle. Try not to ask them to choose between competing plans or to carry messages back and forth between you and your Ex. Adult disagreements should remain between adults.

Get Ahead of Conflicts

If you and your Ex cannot resolve your disagreements informally, consider using a neutral third party. Mediation or parenting coordination can be effective ways for you to reach a practical solution without escalating your conflict. These processes are generally faster, less expensive, and less adversarial than going to court.

Finally, document what you do agree on. Even if your arrangement is informal, it is helpful to confirm the details in writing (by email, for example). This reduces misunderstandings and provides a reference point if questions arise later.

We Can Help

Summer should be a time for your child to relax, explore, and enjoy time with both parents. If you need help with putting together a workable plan for the upcoming warm-weather months, give our Law Firm a call.  Our experienced lawyers are here to help you find practical, child-focused solutions, so that you and your family can make the most of the summer months ahead.