Creating a Parenting Plan After Separation

If you and your partner have separated but share a child together, one of the most important things you can jointly do is to create a clear, well-though-out “parenting plan”. Understand the principles of Ontario parenting plan after separation and how to create a clear agreement that supports your child’s stability and routine.

When done right, the plan:

• Provides structure for your children
• Reduces the chance of conflict
• Helps both of you understand what is expected on a day-to-day basis.

Although every family scenario is different, there are common principles and legal guidelines that apply across Ontario.

What is a Parenting Plan, Anyway?

Before we get into the specifics of how to create a good parenting plan, it’s important understand what it is, and the legal framework and objective for putting one together.

A parenting plan is simply a written document that sets out how you will raise your child as separated parents. At its most basic, it describes things like:

• The parenting schedule you will both follow
• How major decisions about your child will be made
• How any future disputes will be resolved.

Parenting plans can be informal agreements, incorporated into separation agreements, or they can be made part of a court order under the governing federal or provincial legislation.

Note that your parenting plan is customized to your own family and needs, but there are still government and court-initiated guidance around what constitutes a good one.  For example, The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (Ontario) puts out a helpful Parenting Plan Guide, with various suggestions.  These include the note that it is “preferable” if parents “consult with each other and make major decisions jointly”, regardless of the child’s age.  In a recent Ontario decision called Hatab v. Abuhatab, 2022 ONSC 1560, the court referred to this guide as being of “great assistance” and helpful”.

The Legal Framework for Creating a Parenting Plan After Separation

In Canada, the governing legislation for creating a parenting plan will differ depending on whether you and the child’s other parent were married to each other, or not. Specifically:

• For married parents. If you were married and now seeking a divorce, then you are bound by the federal Divorce Act. This legislation encourages you as divorcing parents to nonetheless create a parenting plan, and it allows judges to incorporate your plan into a court order.  It also requires that your parenting plan must address things like: parenting time, decision-making responsibility, and any conditions or restrictions that affect your child’s well-being.
• For unmarried parents. If you and the other parent never married, then the law that applies to you in Ontario is called the Children’s Law Reform Act. This legislation also expects you both to act in your child’s best interests, and to come together to address how to manage your child’s needs. Also, you are each expected to support your child’s relationship with the other parent, and to participate in resolving any disputes.

As a guiding principle, both Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act and the federal Divorce Act emphasize that any decisions affecting your child must prioritize their physical, emotional, and psychological safety and wellbeing. All parenting arrangements must also promote your child’s best interests.  This is assessed by looking at a long list of factors which include:

• The child’s needs
• The nature of their relationships with each of you as parents
• Your individual willingness to to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
• Any concerns over family violence.

Whatever proposed plan you come up with, the court will review it to ensure that it fosters your child’s best interests, and is enforceable and aligned with the principles and objectives set by Canadian Famliy Law.

What a Good Parenting Plan Should Include

A comprehensive parenting plan goes far beyond setting out where your child will live, and with whom. It should also anticipate day-to-day routines and future challenges, always with your child’s best interests at heart.

In particular, a good plan will address details such as:

• Residential schedules. This includes regular weekly routines, weekends, holidays, long weekends, birthdays, and school breaks. You may want to specify transition times and locations, to avoid confusion later.
• Decision-making responsibility. You must both identify which of you will make significant decisions about your child’s health care, education, extracurricular activities, religion, and cultural upbringing. You may choose to do this jointly, or you may want to divide responsibility by topic. Either way, choose an approach that minimizes conflict, and reflects how you have historically parented your child.
• This includes how information will be shared, and how the child will communicate with the parent he or she does not live with. It should also cover how any last-minute changes will be handled.
• Travel with the child. This should ideally address things like passport arrangements, notice requirements for travel, and procedures if one of you is travelling with your child outside of Canada.
• Expense-sharing. This should outline how special or extraordinary expenses (as those are defined under section 7 of the Divorce Act) will be handled. Also cover how and when you will exchange receipts and reimburse each other, and how any disputes will be resolved.
• Educational and religious instruction. Clarify expectations around choosing your child’s school, tutoring, and homework routines. Specify your child’s degree of involvement in religious or cultural activities.
• Dietary concerns. If the child has allergies, medical dietary needs, or family cultural practices around food, spell these out in your parenting plan so that both of you follow the same guidelines.
• Dispute resolution. Identify how any disagreements will be handled – whether through mediation, a parenting coordinator, consultation with a professional, or another structured process.
• Review process. Include provisions addressing how your parenting plan will be reviewed over time, as your child matures.

Negotiating the Plan with the Other Parent

Reaching agreement is often the hardest step. Even you and the other parent can cooperate with each other, you may be struggling with hurt feelings, mistrust, or differing views. The key is approaching the conversation with structure, patience, and a practical mindset.  Here are some steps to keep in mind:

• Check your child’s needs. Start by identifying what is most important to your child. Keep discussions child-focused; avoid revisiting past relationship issues.
• Communicate effectively. Negotiation works best when both of you can communicate effectively. Keep exchanges brief, respectful, and solution-oriented. Use neutral language and avoid accusatory or emotional statements. If discussions become too heated, consider switching to email or using a co-parenting communication app.
• Get negotiation help. You can also negotiate through your respective lawyers, or with the help of mediators, parenting coordinators, or collaborative family law professionals. This can be especially helpful where trust between you and the other parent is low, or where there are complex issues such as special-needs children, safety concerns, or long-distance parenting.
• Get third-party input. Third-party professionals, such as social workers and family therapists who specialize in separation and divorce, can provide valuable input that helps clarify the issues and assist you in meeting on middle ground.

And above all, work together to make sure the provisions are fair to you both. Courts are far more likely to endorse a parenting plan negotiated by both parents, rather than one self-servingly drafted by one parent alone.

For example in Fatima v. Tunio, 2025 ONSC 5474 the father tried to unilaterally impose a new parenting plan on the mother, even though she expressly disagreed with it.  The court concluded that – despite his protestations to the contrary – the father had an underhanded motive, which was to include his parenting time and reduce his child support obligations accordingly. The court concluded that these self-help tactics showed “poor judgment” on the father’s part, and could “exacerbate the conflict between parents” and “waste court time and money”.  The court rejected the father’s attempts at adjust the parenting plan to benefit him, and imposed a more suitable customized plan that fostered the child’s best interests, instead.

What if We Can’t Agree?

What happens if, despite your best efforts, you and the other parent can’t come to terms on a good working parenting plan? The short answer: The court will impose one on you. And that may leave both of you unhappy.

An example of this is seen in the decision in Sadiq v. Musa, 2023 ONSC 1811, where the parents of a 17-month-old boy separated after a relatively short marriage. The father had been working from home and was heavily involved in the child’s day-to-day care, including feedings, bathing and bathtime. Through his lawyer, he asked the mother several times over the course of a month to negotiate a formal parenting plan, but she flatly refused.  She was unwilling to engage in any discussions about the schedule, other than to try to restrict the father to daytime parenting with no overnights. She viewed his role as more of a daycare provider, rather than a full parent. Matters escalated; the mother withheld all contact and the police had to get involved. The father was charged with assault.

Ultimately the court intervened, and built a parenting plan from the ground up. Applying the Divorce Act best-interests test and drawing from expert evidence, it was best for the child to have meaningful overnight time with his father.  As part of creating a very detailed schedule, the court also included terms covering how exchanges would take place, how medical issues were to be handled – and even approved certain bedtime routines and soothing objects that could be given to the child. The court was openly critical of the mother’s unilateral relocation and her refusal to negotiate with the father.

The Takeaway

The key takeaway is this: if you and the other parent cannot agree on a workable parenting plan, a court will ultimately design one for you – and it may be far more rigid and detailed than either of you would have chosen.

The earlier you seek guidance, the more control you retain over the outcome. If you are running into obstacles, give our Fine & Associates a call.  We can help you negotiate a fair, child-focused plan and avoid the stress and cost of leaving these decisions to a judge. Feel free to give our offices a Call or request a Free Consultation.