Dealing with Parenting Choices When Divorced or Separating
One of the more difficult parts about being separated is dealing with your children. Each parent has his or her own style of parenting, which can cause issues with the other. As such, it is important to consider the needs of the child during this period.
Consistency is certainly a key during this period, but you have to realize that it is not always possible. As your children grow to learn to live with each parent individually, you will soon find that they are not harmed by differences in style. In fact, these differences in parenting exist just as much in an intact family.
While it is wise that you are concerned about how the divorce will impact your children, you should remember that they are normally subjected to a variety of different discipline and care styles. They interact with multiple authority figures each day – from teachers to coaches, each of them has a different style of helping to mold your child into a valuable adult.
Even though you or your spouse may disagree on parenting style, this does not create a basis for limiting the other’s time with the child. Imposing your values on the other parent is not only difficult, but possibly harmful to your relationship with your children. Should you fail to realize that others think differently from you, you might find yourself playing the part of the villain in your relationship.
You have to come to terms with the fact that your parenting style is not the only valid style of raising a child. Just because your former partner does something different does not mean that he or she has done something wrong. Think about the other parent in the same way that you think of a teacher – you do not immediately pull a child because you disagree with a management style, instead realizing that the professional has a reason for making his or her choices. If you can realize that the other parent has valid reasons, you can feel a bit better about your child’s time with him or her.
Even with that said, you should spend time trying to figure out if your discomfort is based in fact. If the other parent takes actions that might harm the child, you have more than a right to be concerned – you have a duty to act. In such a situation, a good attorney can be your best partner in parenting.
If you need help making sure that you can get through the process of parenting your children while going through a divorce, we can help you. At Fine & Associates Professional Corporation, our divorce lawyers understand that a divorce involves more than you and your spouse, and we understand that working through the process quickly and efficiently is the best way to get your life back to normal. While there is never anything easy about being a parent during a divorce, you deserve the best help possible.
Each individual Toronto family lawyer at Fine & Associates will be able to assist you, no matter how big the problem may be. Divorce lawyers come in all shapes and sizes, so choose one that fits your needs.